WHATS WRONG IN THIS

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and
anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday
always just exactly fits the newspaper."

"If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in
the dark."

"Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy
disk to reach a high shelf."

"An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it
sound confusing."

"Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the
first thing you do?Turn out the lights!"

"I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier."

"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and
kindness, can be trained to do most things."

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

"When your dreams turn to dust, it's time to vacuum."

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. "

"It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a
week."

"Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills. Making the last car
payment."

"They've finally come up with the perfect office computer.If it makes a
mistake,it blames another computer."

"Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear
them speak."

"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and
stupidity.But not in that order"

"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half."

"Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your childre